Behavioral Conditioning

By the time we reach adulthood, we've all been conditioned to behave and think a certain way. We've been conditioned by our parents, our family, our friends, our teachers, the media, our environment - you name it; its had an influence on us.

While this conditioning has many positive benefits and has taught us many important lessons (for example don't cross the street without looking in both directions first), it also paradoxically has the detrimental effect of enforcing an invisible barrier to breaking outside the norm in regards to what is socially acceptable and achievable.

In a day where such a large proportion of people are working at jobs they don't find rewarding, it's sad to see their lives pass by because they believe "it's normal" to have a job to pay the bills. They don't look further or see the limitless possibilities because it's not normal to do so, or others tell them its too risky, or that they'll fail.

Here are two great examples of things that really struck me and made me think about how much all of us have been conditioned.

My daughter and I were in downtown DC. While walking along, she saw a man playing "drums" on plastic buckets mounted on a shopping cart. She noticed that every couple minutes, people walking by would give him money. There must have been a lightbulb turn on in her head that said "I can make money too!". She immediately jumped behind a nearby sidewalk hand railing, grabbed onto the railing as if it were a cage, and started growling and shouting "Come see the savage ferocious caged animal! Only $1!". I LMAO. She saw an opportunity and seized it without worrying about looking silly or failing. I was in awe. That same day she grabbed a flier from a person handing them out on the street and then persisted to try and give it to someone else passing by her, unrelenting in her efforts, not afraid to be rejected.

The second example that was a "whoa" moment for me was at a Carolina Hurricanes game. It was her first hockey game. She saw some of the other big chants and decided to start her own. She originally came up with "Hurricanes Rock!" but I said it sounded too much like "Hurricanes Suck!" and we'd probably get booed out of the stadium, so she went with "Let's go Hurricanes!"

She turned around facing everyone seated behind us and started chanting loudly and saying "Come on people! Cheer!" A few people cheered a couple times, but it quickly died out. As corny as it sounds, it was really inspiring though to see her unbridled enthusiasm and fearless attitude. She wasn't worried about failing or looking dumb. I also found it depressing at the same time, because I saw how us as adults have become so conditioned to not become excited or risk looking silly or stupid or standing out from the crowd.

Unfortunately, it is this exact same attitude that keeps us confined to our comfort zone today, even if we are unhappy or unsatisfied. We are afraid of taking a chance, and would rather remain ensconced in our mundane lives than risk looking foolish or failing. It's sad.

Hopefully some of us will retrace our steps and unlearn some of the limiting or self-defeating attitudes we have. And Heaven forbid we learn how to enjoy life again.

My advice? Hang out around kids - they have the right attitude and know how to have fun!

Very Inspiring!

http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa/10/05/malawi.wind.boy/index.html

Here it is!

Hey Guys -

The MuscleMag issue is on the stands now. It actually came out on my birthday which I thought was pretty cool.

The pics came out great and I'm surprised at how many they used - the feature is from page 100-128!

Thanks again to Dante and all the folks at MMI.

In MuscleMag next month!

Hey guys -

You may have remembered me mentioning a photoshoot I did a couple months ago for MuscleMag. Well, it's finally coming out next month! It's a "Big & Ripped" type of Superfeature. I'm psyched to see how it turned out. This month's mag has a pic on the back page previewing next months issue. Here is the pic:

Whew!

Things have been crazy around here (although I should be used to it by now I guess).

The rehab is going well and it's finally going on the market this week. It's been a great experience and I'm in the process of trying to get another one under contract. The market is slow but hopefully someone will be able to take advantage of the $8000 federal credit and close on it before it expires.

I've attached some before and afters for your enjoyment

Debt

I've always hated debt.

When I was at Duke I put all my extra money into the mortgage on my townhouse in an effort to pay it off as quickly as possible. I'd only charge something on a credit card if I had the money to pay off the balance every month (I wish I could say this now). To me, debt has always felt like a weight on my shoulders. Now that I'm in DC and everything is more expensive (especially housing!) it's even worse. [This is one of the reasons we're trying to get back to NC]

As I started real estate investing, I met Steve Cook, whom many of you will remember me mentioning in the past. He has a similar view of debt and he really enlightened me on how controlling debt can be. As he's stated, the amount of debt we have impacts what job we take, where we work, and how much we work. It controls how much time we can take off for vacation and where we can go.

If you think about it, sadly, debt influences just about every aspect of our life.

I love these definitions from Steve:
"A mortgage is a commitment to work 30% of your waking hours for 30 years for a place to live now."

"Borrowing is exchanging your future time for the benefit of something today."

But it's not just the mortgage. It's credit card debt, car payments, etc. It all adds up to a minimum dollar amount that you must come up with every month, no matter what.

I personally feel trapped by debt and am actively pursing a way out. Many of you may feel the same way. I can tell you, as you dig your way out of debt, it will feel as though a weight has been lifted. You'll be able to enjoy time with your spouse, family and friends, be more generous, and start sleeping at night again.

The lesson here? GET OUT OF DEBT!

I know it's easier said than done, especially in today's economy, but every little step in the right direction counts. Stop charging things you can't afford because you think you're entitled to have them. Our culture promotes instant-gratification - we must avoid this way of thinking. The reality is, if you have to charge it, you can't afford it. Try and distinguish between want and need - comfort and necessity. Instead of getting a new car every 3 years, try and make it 5. You get the point.

Just like it probably took you some time to get into debt, it will take you some time to get out of it. Don't worry though - you WILL get there, and when you do, a whole new way of living will open up.

Atlantic States Posing Routine